I came home from work one day and there it was: The nondescript cardboard box I’d been awaiting. It was sitting on my bed — kindly signed for and placed in my room by a roommate. Inside was a present that had been the object of my desire since I’d watched The Intern a few months back: the newly released Ben Andrews dildo.

I immediately opened it up to inspect the goods. As I removed the dildo from its box, my heart dropped a little bit. The dildo was just, well, not as big as I’d hoped. (And yes, I am a size queen.) In addition to not quite measuring up, the thing was oddly shaped. Imagine a 2×4 block, not round and conical like most dildos (and penises). Nonetheless, I was excited to give it a try to determine if the weird shape and modest size could hit my pleasure spots.

After hitting the gym and writing a few blog posts, the happy happy time had arrived. I lubed good ol’ Ben up and positioned myself above it. At first it was bizarre trying to adjust to Ben’s rectangular-ness. After experimenting a bit (it helped to twist it sideways) I managed to lower myself down onto Ben’s man-meat. I worked up a pretty good rhythm and was having an okay time. It was just barely hitting the good spot deep inside. But the awkwardness of the shape wasn’t really turning me on.

So, as I went from raging-hard to just semi-hard, I realized I had to think quick. I opened my drawer (okay, one of my many drawers), and retrieved the answer to my problems — The toy guaranteed to send me over the edge and hit all the rights spots all at once. What was this knight in shining armor you ask? What else, but the ginormous Chad Hunt dildo. The Chad is significantly larger than The Ben. Their girths are about the same, but Chad is much longer and more typically shaped (i.e. round). It was mere minutes before Chad put me past the point of no return.

I have no idea what this means for the real life comparison between Chad and Ben’s dicks. My guess is that Falcon exaggerates the size of their dildos to some extent. But, I’m okay with that. Because porn is all about fantasy, and for me, that extends to dildos molded from a porn star’s dick too. The one upside to the Ben Andrews dildo is that it has a foreskin (albeit immobile). Mad props to Lucas Entertainment for putting foreskin on a dildo.

I made my own measurements of the guys’ dildos:

Ben Andrews Dildo
Circumference at head: 5.75″
Circumference of shaft: 7.5″
Insertable length: 8″
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Chad Hunt Dildo
Circumference at head: 6.5″
Circumference of shaft: 7.5″
Insertable length: 10″.
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